Lord of the rings - Spiritual thought

One Saturday, Richard and I spent the weekend watching all of Lord of the Rings movies. I never realized the deep meaning of one scene in the movie, but as I was watching it, a spiritual thought came to my mind. It is the part where Samwise 'Sam' Gamgee and Frodo are approaching Mount Doom and both fall from exhaustion. Sam looks at Frodo and then looks at where they’re going and sees that they don't have far to go. He states "I know that I can't take the ring for you because that is yours to bear but I can carry you." When I heard this, I couldn't help but think about how that relates to our lives and how Sam is heavenly father or a friend. When we have a trial, no one can bear it for us because that is our trial that we must get through but our friends and heavenly father are like Sam who can help us by carrying us through our trials. I am so grateful that as I get older and try to become more spiritually minded, the more it reminds me how much heavenly father loves us and cares for us and that we are not alone no matter how alone a person may feel at times.

The beginnings, the start of my journey.

One of my journeys through life I have come to learn that no matter what cards you are dealt in life, it is important to look forward in faith to get through the difficulties in life.  When I was a teenager, I thought my adult life would be to get married, have children, and live life the best I could. I knew in my heart from a feeling I had from my heavenly father, that I would be married before I was twenty.  It was hard to believe because I really didn’t have any boyfriends or interest from men, but I never gave up on the feeling.  I went forward with faith and I went to church with my friends. As I graduated high school, most of my friends were 18 and going to the singles ward and so I went.  April, a good friend of mine, asked me if I wanted to be in a play she was trying to put together and I luckily agreed.  As I went to the practices and positions were filled, I meet Richard.  One of my fondest memories after I meet Richard, me and April was walking to the church and Richard happen to be walking up the street. Me and April joined him and had great conversations with him, well later that night after Richard left; April turns to me and asks “How about that Richard”.  I was not expecting that but I knew Richard was a great guy and one guy that would change my world forever.  Richard kept showing up here and there but our relationship didn’t grow until I saw him on the bus and I sat next to him.  One time he finally asked me on a date and now I have been married to him for almost 10 years. Throughout the years of marriage, we have had many ups and downs.  One of the many downs side was after 6 months of marriage, we discovered that Richard had testicular cancer and at the start things did not look good.  One testicule was removed and we did everything necessary to take care of it. When the biopsy results came back, heavenly father blessed us that only radiation therapy had to be done instead of chemo.  After a few years of Richard being cleared cancer, and I was late of my periods and so I took a pregnancy test which came back positive. That was exciting news and to know that Richard was fine in that dept.  Well a few weeks later, I miscarriage and that’s when my whole fertility issues arise.  After a year on no periods and weight gain, I went and saw a doctor about my issues and she diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).  She did an HSG test to make sure my uterus was not blocked or scar tissue causing problems. All test came back good and I started the process of clomid but nothing came of it and at one point the doctor had Richard tested to make sure his sperm were good, all the tests came back good meaning that there is no problems. Richard was laid off work which I didn’t want to bring a child in a bad time and I decided to go back to school once he found employment again, so I stopped a while.  About 6 months ago, I began seeing specialists and of course my PCOS is what is pending my ability to become pregnant.  Of course the specialists had Richard tested again and the results pretty much came back normal. I have been trying to do everything in my power to have children but I know that deeply inside, that children come from our heavenly father and he has a plan for each and every one of us.  I have not been alone in the journey of my almost 10 years of marriage, I have a loving husband that is patient, kind, and a spiritual man that often reminds me that heavenly father has given us much. Also that our time is not gods time and that he does everything on purpose.  I think the biggest reasons why heavenly father has given me the trial of infertility not because I deserve it or something but because my father in heaven knows me well and trust me to turn this into a deeper spiritual journey.

A Start

I started a new blog because I felt life has changed so much and it was not focused on what I really needed to blog about. I think the right topic that I need to write about is about my own journey in my path of finding my part in life. My path so far has not been the usual because most of the time people think that you get married then have kids and live, well that is not my life. My life has been more on a different path. My path has been more of learning how to listen to the lord, trusting him with my path, and his timing is not our timing. Life is not what it all seems to be and I am ok with how my life turned out. I have learned so much but yet still have lots to learn. This journey right now is both spirtual and temporal, and I will be writing about that. I hope you enjoy it and may be lifted up by the many things I have been through or lifted up by. Enjoy.